TYLER CRUMRINE / "WHO IS TO GUIDE THE PATH?"
YOU ARE STANDING IN A GRASSY MEADOW
A PATH FOLLOWS A STREAM TO THE EAST
THERE IS A MACE HERE
TAKEN
>> Thank you
THANK YOU, SIR
YOU HAVE JUST ENTERED THE LAND OF THE DEAD
YOU ARE AT THE EDGE OF A MOAT
A ROAD LEADS SOUTH
THERE IS A LARGE NEST HERE, FULL OF GOLDEN EGGS!
>> Take a golden egg
YOU HEAR IN THE DISTANCE THE CHIRPING OF A SONG BIRD
>> Listen
THE SONGBIRD IS STARTLED BY YOUR UNEXPECTED GENEROSITY, AND RUNS AWAY OUT OF YOUR SIGHT. "NONSENSE QUESTIONS FOR A JEWEL-ENCRUSTED EGG."
>> Go south
A SIGN IS LEANING AGAINST A PILE OF PEBBLES AND SMALL STONES
>> Read sign
"SIGN TO QUINTUPLE THAT YOU ARE INDEED THE SUPERIOR FORM OF THE PREVIOUS GENERATION"
>> Look around
DISAPPOINTED?
>> No
THE JADE FIGURINE ISN'T INFERIOR TO THE COMPETITION
THE THIEF IS A STRONG, SILENT TYPE
THE COLLECTOR IS A STRONG, SILENT TYPE
>> Talk to thief
THE THIEF ATTACKS, AND YOU FALL BACK DESPERATELY
>> Dodge thief
YOU DODGE AS THE THIEF COMES IN LOW
THROW COIN IN WELL?
NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE UPGRADES
NO ONE WILL TAKE THEM UNTIL YOU'RE BETTER OFF
THE THIEF IS PATROLLED BY A SUPERMAN, WHO IS OBVIOUSLY DERANGED AND HOLDING HIS NOSE
>> Talk to Superman
I DON'T KNOW THE WORD "PATROLLED"
>> Look around
YOU'D BETTER BE PREPARED
NOBODY IS EXACTLY SHARP
>> Go south
ELECTRIC EELS LIGHT UP IN ANTICIPATION OF ELECTROCUTING AND DEVOURING YOU
YOU STEP BACK AWAY FROM THE BROOK
>> Go north
THIS IS A NATIONAL PARK, AND PART OF THE ARAGAIN FALLS TO THE GROUND
TO THE EAST IS A NARROW PATH
>> Go east
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
>> Take narrow path
THE PATH IS TOO NARROW
>> Go to national park
THERE IS A PATH TO THE EAST WHICH IS TOO NARROW
>> Go west
YOU WOULD NEED A MACHETE TO GO THROUGH THE HOLE
>> Inspect hole
YOU CAN'T THROUGH THE HOLE
>> Look around
NOTHING HAPPENS HERE? AN ODDITY HAS OCCURRED TO YOU AND ME
>> Inspect oddity
WHAT OBJECT IS PECULIAR ABOUT THIS PLACE?
>> You and me
YOU ARE PERSONS WITH EXCEPTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
HOWEVER, YOU ARE NEITHER
WHO IS TO GUIDE THE PATH?
THERE IS NO PERSON, EXCEPT FOR A SMALL WINDOW WHICH IS CLEARLY VISIBLE
WHO IS TO OPEN THE SMALL WINDOW?
THERE IS NO PERSON IN SIGHT
WHO IS TO CLOSE THE SMALL WINDOW?
>> Me
ME: THERE IS A THREATENING LITTLE DWARF IN THE ROOM WITH YOU! ONE SHARP NASTY KNIFE IS THROWN AT YOU! IT MISSES! YOU ARE IN BEDQUILT, A LONG EAST/WEST PASSAGE WITH HOLES EVERYWHERE
TO EXPLORE AT RANDOM SELECT NORTH, SOUTH, UP, OR DOWN
>> Go down
YOU'RE IN SWISS CHEESE ROOM
A BOTTLE IS SITTING ON THE TABLE
>> Open bottle
OPENING THE BOTTLE REVEALS A HUGE BEANSTALK STRETCHING ALL THE WAY UP TO THE HOLE
YOU CAN'T GET IT UP THERE
A SMALL CRACK ACROSS THE FLOOR LEADS DOWN THROUGH THE CENTER OF THE ROOM
A PASSAGE LEADS DOWN AND TO THE WEST IS A LARGE
>> Go down passage
GO DOWN PASSAGE 7 FEET OFF THE FLOOR
>> Climb beanstalk
THERE IS A THREATENING LITTLE DWARF IN THE ROOM WITH YOU! YOU'RE IN DEBRIS ROOM
>> Attack dwarf
YOU ATTACK A LITTLE DWARF, BUT HE DODGES OUT OF THE WAY
THERE IS A THREATENING LITTLE DWARF IN THE ROOM WITH YOU! ONE SHARP NASTY KNIFE IS THROWN AT YOU! IT MISSES! YOU'RE AT COMPLEX JUNCTION
>> Kiss dwarf
YOU ARE IN THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROOM
>> Approach dwarf
YOU ARE APPROACHING FROM THE EAST
HE IS A LARGE, MUSCULAR, BIPEDALIST WITH BEADY EYES THAT FLIT BACK AND FORTH
HE CARRIES, ALONG WITH AN UNMISTAKABLE ARROGANCE, A LARGE BAG OVER HIS SHOULDER AND A VICIOUS-LOOKING STILETTO, WHOSE BLADE IS AIMED MENACINGLY IN YOUR DIRECTION
>> Reason with dwarf
DONE
>> Are we okay now?
DONE
>> Climb beanstalk
DONE
>> Okay
PLAYER, NORMALLY, THE TEXT WILL SAY SOMETHING ABOUT A HOLLOW VOICE SAYING THE WORD "PLUGH." I DON'T KNOW WHY IT DIDN'T SAY IT THIS TIME. "PLUGH.”
>> What does plugh mean?
"HELLO WORLD" IS A SPELL BOOK. HERE IS WHAT I HAVE TYPED:
>> What have you typed?
TO MEMORY.
>> What do you remember?
THE RECEIPT SAYS "PLUGHS SKEET.” CLICK. THE PLUGH SWINGS HIS MACE, SO YOU KILLED HIM.
>> Why did the plugh have to die?
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
>> Help the plugh
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
>> Give the plugh a funeral
THE COFFIN WILL BE CARRIED OVER THE WATERFALL AND CRUSHED.
>> No, I want to bury it
YOU BURY IT IN THE SNOW. THE COFFIN WILL NOT BE CARRIED OVER THE WATERFALL. THE COFFIN WILL NOT BE SUPPORTED BY THE MAGIC DUST. NO FANCY LIGHTNING.
>> That's okay
MINE AND THE DWARVES WILL BE FINE.
>> I'm glad
I'M GLAD YOU ASKED. YOU WILL ALSO NEED THE TRIDENT TO OPEN THE "GOLD COFFIN" WHICH IS THE ONLY EXIT.
>> Where can I find the trident?
CAN YOU WALK ON WATER VAPOR? THE WATER VAPOR LAYER IN THE COFFIN IS TOO THICK TO CROSS.
>> I don't think I can
I DON'T THINK YOU CAN WALK ON WATER VAPOR.
>> So what should I do
Tyler Crumrine is a game designer and dramaturge and the founding editor of Plays Inverse Press. More information about his theater work can be found at crumrine.info; games at tyler-crumrine.itch.io. His Twitter handle is @uhcoolguy.